Animated Existence
by Harkpad
Summary: Tony wants to throw an "Agent Isn't Dead" party after Phil is up and around again after the 'Loki Incident.' Clint informs him that Phil hates parties, and everyone agrees that Tony should respect Phil's preferences. The result? Well, the result is bigger and grander than any party could possibly be, and it includes powdered doughnuts and plants. Lots and lots of plants.


**A/N: This little piece is the equivalent of me doodling at work. Perhaps one should not publish their doodles, but what the heck; it seemed an okay idea at the time. Thanks to dysprositos for fantastic help, and I hope this at least brings a little Friday smile. **

**Oh, and there is background Clint/Coulson, just so you were warned (nothing prominent here, though. This is about friendship and grand gestures.)**

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"You know what Phil likes?" Clint asked, pulling a box of Pop-Tarts out of the cupboard and tearing it open. He was wearing blue flannel sleep pants and a beige Henley and had only crawled out here to the common kitchen because he was fresh out of Pop Tarts. Well, Phil had some brown sugar and cinnamon ones in their cupboard, but those don't count.

"What?" Bruce asked, keeping his eyes on his tablet. He was actually dressed for the day, although Clint wondered if he'd ever changed clothes from yesterday.

"Not parties," Clint replied. He took a package of strawberry Pop-Tarts out of the box and handed it to Thor, who wasn't always around, but Clint had learned not to be surprised by his sudden appearances and disappearances. As long as there were Pop Tarts around he was okay.

Thor took the box instead and handed Clint the package back and Clint grinned.

Just then, Steve wandered in wearing workout clothes and began rifling through the breakfast cupboard. "Are you having a party?" he asked Clint.

"No!" Clint answered. "Not a party. He doesn't like parties."

"Who?" Steve asked, confused.

"Phil."

Bruce looked up and asked, "So, what does he like?"

"What?" Clint asked, slumping into a chair. It was too early for this.

Thor spoke up around a mouthful of Pop Tart. "You asked us if we knew what the Son of Coul likes, but you did not tell us."

Clint blinked and then answered, "He likes things that aren't parties."

Bruce, Thor, and Steve just stared.

Clint sighed and stood up, pacing. "Tony's planning a party. He wants to throw an "Agent Isn't Dead" party, and it'll be huge, and Phil hates parties." Clint hated them, too, but that was beside the point.

Bruce nodded. "Tony _has_ been known to get carried away."

At that moment, Tony walked into the kitchen wearing purple boxers and a bright orange t-shirt, and he headed straight for the coffee maker. "Carried away with what?" he asked blearily.

Thor answered, "Parties."

Tony shrugged. "I like parties."

Bruce stood and helped himself to a cup of coffee. "Apparently Phil doesn't like parties."

Tony didn't answer. He poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the table.

Everyone watched him for a moment and then Steve spoke up. "Tony. I think Clint is suggesting that you shouldn't throw a party for Agent Coulson's return."

"But we have to celebrate," Tony said, brightening a little bit as the coffee hit his system.

"You know what Phil likes?" Clint asked again, frustrated.

"What?" Bruce asked, amused.

"Plants. You want to celebrate? Buy him a bunch of plants for his office. The closer to a rainforest he can get his office, the better."

Tony just stared for a moment and then shook his head as if trying to clear it. "You want me to buy Agent a bunch of plants. "

Clint sighed. "It's just an idea." When Tony put it like that it did sound kinda lame, but Phil liked plants.

"To celebrate," Tony said.

Clint nodded. "He _hates_ parties, Tony."

Tony shook his head. "Plants are not a celebration."

"They can be," Bruce said, sounding annoyingly chipper, "Some have celebratory meanings."

Tony stood from the table. "I'm not buying Agent some plants."

"Coffee?" Clint added. "He likes coffee."

"You could buy him a coffee shop," Bruce said quietly.

Clint grinned. "Jazz. He likes jazz."

"Buy him a jazz club," Bruce added.

"Trading cards," Steve said, getting into the game.

"Buy him a collectibles shop," Bruce said.

"Doughnuts," Clint said.

"A doughnut shop?" Thor offered.

Tony just glared at all of them, exasperated.

When Clint didn't hear anything about the party for two months, he figured he'd succeeded in diverting Tony's attention from some huge, overblown celebration.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

One night, Tony gathered everyone, including Phil, in the common room of the tower. "It was brought to my attention that you don't like parties, Agent," he said to Phil, who looked over at Clint. Clint shrugged. Tony went on, "So I didn't throw you a party."

"Thank you, Tony," Phil said, sounding puzzled.

"Come with me," Tony said, heading for the elevator and gesturing to the whole group.

Natasha hadn't been around when the party discussion was happening, so she elbowed Clint in the ribs and hissed, "What's going on?"

"I don't know," he whispered back. "I just told him not to throw a party." He was confused. That conversation had been a long time ago.

They rode the elevator down to the lobby of Stark Tower, and Tony climbed off, leading them down a hallway that had been blocked off for months.

Phil leaned into Clint's shoulder and said, "I have a very bad feeling about this."

Clint shrugged, not wanting to confirm his own fears, and followed Tony down the hallway and then stopped dead in his tracks. They stopped in front of a sign that read "Animatedly Existent" in smooth green neon letters above a glass door. Clint turned to Tony and said, his voice low, "Tony, what did you do?"

Tony shrugged and opened the door, gesturing everyone inside. Clint walked in and looked around, his jaw dropping. It was a club, tastefully decorated with small, round, white-topped tables with candles on them, plush maroon carpeting, a long zinc bar with an impressive espresso machine sitting at one end, a small stage in one corner, and plants everywhere. Hanging bromeliad plants were in each corner, and there were at least five plants along the bar. Each table had a tiny fern, and there was a fake waterfall in one corner of the room.

Soft jazz was playing in the background, and Tony handed Phil a menu, saying, "Coffee, the best doughnuts in town, and a full pub menu. It's got wireless access, and a jazz quartet will be playing three nights a week, maybe more if we want."

Phil just stared, and Clint asked, incredulous, "You built him a _club_?"

Tony nodded. "And a doughnut shop with kick-ass coffee, comic books, and lots of plants." He paused as everyone looked around. "Oh, and it's private. No big crowds. Tell whoever you want about it and we'll make a list for guests and they can come whenever, but it's totally invite only." He paused and got a sheepish look. "I might have already invited Fury and let him invite a few of your SHIELD buddies tonight. It's not a party, though!"

Phil had managed to keep his jaw from dropping, and now he wandered the room, noting the art on the walls – all of his favorite Captain America posters – and the waterfall had comfortable sitting chairs around it, centered around a coffee table lined with plants.

Finally, he came back to where the others were standing and he looked at Tony. He took a deep breath and Clint moved closer and took his hand. "You built me a private club, Stark."

Clint could tell from his tone of voice that he was actually completely okay with this crazy gesture.

Tony grinned. "Please don't taze me for it?"

Phil shook his head. "No, I don't think I'll taze you for it. Thank you."

Tony nodded. "Sure. I had to do something, and your boyfriend didn't want me to throw you a party."

Clint protested, "Wait. I totally would've endorsed a party if I had known this was the alternative!" He would have, too. This was . . . insane.

Tony laughed. "Yeah, well, this is better. I figure we'll all like having a place to unwind. It'll be cool."

Just then Natasha approached Phil and handed him a cup of coffee and a pack of powdered doughnuts. "Wanna sit?"

Phil looked at the doughnuts and sighed. "Yes. Yes, I do."

And they all sat at a corner table and drank coffee and ate doughnuts while their friends from SHIELD trickled in. Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy showed up as well, and a throaty jazz singer entertained them for the rest of the evening.

Later, Phil leaned over to Tony and said, "Thanks again, Mr. Stark." He paused and added, "And I like the name."

Tony took a drink of his martini and said, "You pissed me off, Agent. You know, with the whole dying and coming back thing. It's the least I could do."

"I'd be afraid to see the most you could do, Stark," Clint chimed in, and threw another package of doughnuts at Phil. He handed one to Tony as well, who tore it open and popped a doughnut in his mouth, grinning around the powder.


End file.
